Monday, November 23, 2009

Fatlas Shrugged

Dear Fat,

You win. Last week was a joke. Not only did I gain 3.5 lbs, I failed at everything. FHOABMAAMN, you, MIOUOBMD and herpes-of-the-mouth-zit did it. You got me. I am donezos. You know, I tried to be brave and bold and beautiful, but nope, you and the universe conspired against me. It went a little something like this:

me: I am a worthwhile human being and I can be brave. I will be brave.
universe: Mmhmmm.
me: No! You won't intimidate me! I am brave and I am beautiful. Take me for who I am: me.
universe: *pointed look*
me: Oh, that's right. I am me. Hideous, repulsive and above all fat. *defeated sigh* You win again, universe. I'll go hide my fatness from the rest of the world now.
universe: :)

It's so easy to forget sometimes that I am atrocious. And to think for just a moment that I can be greater than what I am. But nope. At the end of the day I am still me. And at the end of the week I am 3.5 pounds fatter. In a nod towards hope beyond self-loathing, I'm still 1.5 pounds less fat than when we started this journey. And I lost 3/16" from my waist since last week. Or maybe I just pulled the tape measure tighter.

Can I pull it tight enough to forget him?

Fatfully yours,

Fatticus

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