Saturday, December 05, 2009

The Winter of Our Fat-content

Dear Fat,

It's cold today.

The weather outside is frightful, and dressing for it is making me look anything but delightful. As the temperature drops, another layer adds to my already hefty bulk. Will this addition never end?

This week I gained one pound. For the love of bacon, can't I go two consecutive weeks without gaining weight?! I'm not even asking for two weeks of losing weight! Just two straight weeks sans weight gain. That would be AWESOME.

Oh fat, I don't know what to do with you. I want so much to be rid of you forever, but truth be told, you've been by me the longest. In my loneliness, in my sorrow, you were there. Granted, I do blame you for much of my loneliness and sorrow, but that doesn't negate the fact that you were with me through it all.

But that's over now. I am taking on this week with new conviction. The holidays are coming up and the greatest gift I can receive is some self-respect and self worth. And I'll have it. The world is filling with the sweet smell of Christmas and delightful treats, but I will have self-control. Bring it on holiday feasts!

Skinny is going to feel awesome.

Late,

Fatticus

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