Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Funny Fat

Why haven't you commented yet?  Don't you know how important this is?  GET THAT GIRL ON GLEE!!!

MONOLOGUE

SONG

STARS


Dear Fat,

In other news, I went kayaking for about 2 hours on Saturday, and I tried to jog today.  I had that chicken bacon burger from lunch, french fries, and 3 cupcakes weighing me down, however.  I know.  We'll talk about it later.

Sorry,

I.M.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Don't Fat on My Parade

Give me gold stars, thumbs ups, positive comments and favorites

Gold Stars and Favs

Comment on my monologue

Comment on my song

You and I both know that I'm awesome.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Tender Is the Fat

And delicious, it is.

Dear Fat,

Let's do a comparison of what is delicious to what is extra delicious:

White meat versus dark meat?  Dark meat, of course.
Muffin versus cupcake?  Cupcake.
Angel food cake versus devil's food cake?  Dark again.
Celery versus ice cream?

Fat, you make things so tasty, and you make me so heavy.  As we speak, I'm making a chicken mushroom casserole, and did I choose to substitute the boneless, skinless chicken thighs with white meat?  Of course not.  And what am I eating afterwards?  Probably some ice cream.

Hungry,

I.M.

Monday, April 19, 2010

The Basic Coughka

Dear Bronchitis,

Hey, thanks a lot for stopping by!  I've really enjoyed your visit for the past two weeks; it's been a trip.  I'm not sure how to say this, but could you please leave?  You've more than overstayed your welcome and I really have to get back to work.  You're a very needy guest you know, and I can't take off any more time to entertain you.  So, while it's been fun--the fun is over.  It's time for you to go.

Can I get a neti pot for my lungs?

Fatticus

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Fatterhouse Five

Listen:

I am stuck in fat.

Yes, I know, I just did Vonnegut for my last entry, but forgive me.  My creativity is a little drained.

I ate a little too much for dinner, but I decided that today warranted a little extra indulgence.  It wasn't terrible, but we shall see.

Anyway, a jogging-free week and a half led to . . . weight loss!  Go figure.  I started up again on Wednesday, and we're going to try to finish up our Couch-to-5K (finally) by next weekend, as long as Fatticus recovers from her second illness of the season.

Looking back at my failed attempts, I have to say that I am glad that I at least have not given up.  I'm still convinced that I'm going to lose 50 pounds . . . eventually, someday, maybe, but hopefully soon.

So,

I.M.