Saturday, May 22, 2010

The Fatiad

Dear Fat,

I realized that I didn't provide a sufficient account of my fatty exploits over the past few weeks in yesterday's entry.  Today, I am providing the prequel.

Part 1 - Cheese is delicious:
Three weeks ago, while I was home, Fatticus and I went on a hike.  For lunch, we acted against our cravings for delicious Mexican or Indian food and went to Whole Foods to pick up ingredients for a healthy sandwich+salad lunch.  Alas, our attempts to eat in moderation failed.  We bought 4 types of cheese, French bread, crostinis, curry chicken salad, greek orzo salad, salad salad, olive tapenade, more olives, and grape tomatoes.  Our total bill came to something over $60.  What is the lesson here?  Humboldt Fog cheese is delicious.  Thank you, other tall Asian person.

Part 2 - Chinese people subconsciously want you to be fat:
Two weeks ago, my great uncle and great aunt came to visit.  What happens when Chinese relatives come to visit?  A lot of food happens, really unhealthy food.  We'll sit down to dinner, and out of 6 dishes, only one will not be dominated by meat.  And there is no such thing as eating raw vegetables.  Vegetables must be fried or pickled.  Lesson?  Spicy food is AWESOME!  If it doesn't burn, it's not food.

Part 3 - Jogging sucks:
Last week, I "ran" the Coronado Bridge Run (~4 miles).  By "ran," I mean that by the time we actually reached the bridge, I was already red-faced and breathing like a dying horse.  As we started the ascent, as children and the elderly were passing me, I gave up and walked.  I tried jogging on and off, but really.  Jogging sucks.

Part 4 - My body wants me to think that eating fat is good for me:
Yesterday, I ate 2 pounds and 12 ounces of meat, right?  Salty, greasy, fatty meat.  Today, I weigh less, and my skin looks better.  Curse you, Universe.

Less gross,


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