Wednesday, June 09, 2010

The Afatment

Dear Fat,

I went running again this morning.  I know, I know.  I said I'd never run again.  I promised I'd never do anything like that to you again.  Now here I am, stretching out from this morning's run.  I think I make promises to you just to break them.  I mean, like all of those times I promised that this was the last breakfast at McDonald's (it's freaking delicious and so conveniently close to work), or when I said that I was divorcing myself from you forever.  Yah, I totally kept those promises--not!

I guess I can just make more promises to you that I have no intention of keeping.
-I will never leave you
-I will never complain about you
-I will never be dissatisfied with the way you look
-I will never wish you away from me
-I will always love you, just the way you are.

It's times like this that I think my attentions would be better focused on a person, rather than on my gross fat blobs.  Oops!  Looks like I've already broken a promise to you.

Honestly and completely unfacetiously,

Fatticus

p.s. I also promise I will not try to transform every aspect of my life into a musical.  Rats.  I lied again.

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