Friday, June 11, 2010

The Last Fatcoon

Dear Fat,

I finally figured it out!  "What have you figured out?" you may wonder.  Well, I will tell you.  I have figured out how to defeat you.  It's so simple!  I can be rid of you forever in just two easy steps.  Get ready to quake with fear at this epiphany:

1) Eat less
2) Exercise more

Mua ha ha ha ha ha!!  Are you trembling?  Do you admit defeat?!  Are you shaken to the very depths of your jiggly core?!

That's what I thought.

Now, for follow-through!  I'm so empowered that I will start exactly right... after next Monday night.  I'm going out to dinner at a restaurant named Animal.  I think they serve something called "Praise the Lard".  I'm going to be fat forever.

Enlightened but not any lighter,

Fatticus

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