Tuesday, June 29, 2010

The Old Fat and the Sea

Dear Fat,

5 weeks.  It has been 5 weeks since I've lost any weight.  35 days without any progress.  Not an ounce lighter... in fact, I've been gaining weight.  I don't update the weight tracker out of deep shame.  This is pathetic.  What happened to my epiphany?  I started exercising more... I guess I haven't eaten any less.  What happened to me?  What happened to my resolve?  More importantly, what happened to my tan?

I used to be a beautiful golden-brown caramel color... and now?  I spend my days in a box and toil in a sedentary daze... baaah!!  This is ridiculous.  It's time to hit the beach.  I just hope no one tries to push me into the water under the misconception that I am a beached whale.

Locked in an epic battle of wills,

Fatticus

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