Wednesday, July 28, 2010


Dear Fat,

Today I read the story of one red paperclip and was inspired.  I currently have, on my body, 50+ pounds of fat that I am willing to trade up for a new life.  I will take any offer, travel anywhere, to trade these 50 pounds until I eventually end up with a new life.

The One Red Paperclip project was really interesting in that it challenged the idea of value.  He started with one red paperclip and ended up with a house.  Oh yah?  Each new trade was an upgrade from the last item.  First a paperclip for a pen, a pen for a knob... all the way to a house.  Can I make a similar series of trades?

I guess it's time for me to reevaluate my ideas of value.  Right now, an In-N-Out cheeseburger with animal fries would bring me intense joy.  In-N-Out = high value.  A wilted, not tasty salad with bone dry "grilled" chicken brings me pain.  Salad = low value.  This is my current value assessment system and has been for pretty much my entire life.  Clearly it has not been working out for me.

Now for a change of bases.  Value will now be measured in terms of nutrients rather than flavor.  Gross salad with weird spicy/bitter/pretty-sure-they-are-common-weeds of nastiness?  Bring. It. On.

I am uptrading.  Uptrading my laziness for a regular exercise schedule.  Uptrading my body fat for a new wardrobe.  Uptrading my self-loathing for an awesome new life where stairs will not take another breath from me!

I guess I'm a little stuck on that first trade.  I can't get out of bed to exercise in the morning because I can't fall asleep at night and am exhausted in the morning.  I can't fall asleep at night because I'm not exercising in the morning and working out at night makes me more sleepless.  Eff.

Getting the flies out of my eyes,


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