Saturday, July 10, 2010

Fateefer Madness

Dear Fat,

Hello, my name is I.M., and I have a problem.  (Where are the donuts?)

First, a question: Why do people smoke?  Maybe it was those 5 million D.A.R.E. lessons we had as kids, but I always thought that the only logical answer was no.  Then, you meet people who only smoke "socially," people who otherwise eat super-healthy foods and exercise regularly.  And then, you meet people who chew nicotine gum just for the hell of it.  It's bad, but . . . how much worse is it than the occasional drunken blackout?  And do any of these things inflict more bodily damage than my irreverent eating habits?  You can argue about lesser evils, but argument won't lead to eradication.

Now, the real question: Why do I eat?  Enough about that gaping hole in my self-esteem from childhood.  I've outgrown that.  It seems like I eat because I don't know how not to eat.

Out of curiosity, I was looking at the website for Food Addicts, and one of the questions they ask is this: "Are you waiting for your life to begin 'when you lose the weight?'"  I would like to think that I'm better than that, but it wouldn't be true.  Sometimes I believe that all of the problems in my life will go away once I'm skinny: my lack of a boyfriend, my inability to learn any sports, my acanthosis nigricans.  Time, however, will probably prove that it was never my weight that was holding me back.

Well, at least not more than a little bit.

Powerless over food?

I.M.

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