Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Fat of the Tiger

Dear Fat,

Tomorrow, I will be 24.  How much progress have I made since we started this blog?  Are we talking about weight loss?  Academics?  Love life?  I think it's all the same answer: 0

Nevertheless, a new year of my life always brings me a little bit of hope.  The Tiger motto is supposed to be "I Win!' (perhaps without the exclamation point) according to a source that no longer exists yet is still cited on Wikipedia.

This is our year, my friends!  (At least for some of you)  This is the year we will find new direction!  When we figure out what we want to do with our lives!  When we learn to love ourselves for who we are!  When we can step onto a scale without cringing!  This is the year we will win!

To celebrate, I'm going to eat an orange.

Cheers,

I.M.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Infatno

Rather, Infatyes.

Dear Fat,

I'm sorry to have shirked my FoF duties, but the (main) truth is that I have been ashamed.  What have I done towards reaching my goal of skinniness?  Nothing!  I haven't jogged.  Yesterday, my dinner consisted of avocados, eggs, and cheese.  Do avocados count as a vegetable?  They're green . . .

I most certainly have not lost weight.

When the weather warmed up, it felt like a giant balloon had expanded inside of my already gargantuan head and was pressing up against the inside of my skull.  Not in a painful way.  Just under pressure (dun dun dun dun dun dun dun . . . dun dun dun dun dun dun).

Does playing softball once a week count as exercise?

What am I doing with my life?  I have no idea.

Exciting updates:
 - We're switching from Roberto's to Rudy's for our Mexican food orders for journal club
 - . . . That's it!  Something else to make me fat.

In fat?

I.M.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Pokéfat: The First Fattie

Online University
Via: Online University

Dear Fat,

I pretty much just love Pokémon.  And food.  I'm basically a Snorlax.  I stopped weighing myself because I think I currently exceed my scale's weight capacity.

I can't wait for the 13th Pokémon movie to come out.  It sounds AWESOME!  How about I start losing at least one pound a week for the next 13 weeks in celebration of this momentous occasion?  Sweet.  Bulbasaur use Razor Leaf!


Super Effectively,

Fatticus