Saturday, December 25, 2010

The Fatcracker

Dear Fat,

Merry Christmas!  After some minor fluctuations, I have finally been able to maintain my 10-pound weight loss for two consecutive weeks, so I am now allowed to purchase a cast iron skillet.  Do you like how my poundage prizes are generally food-related?  My curiosity was piqued enough to look for a vintage Griswold skillet on eBay, so we shall see how that goes.  If I could now just find that Rhythm rock-n'- roll chicken clock, life would be complete . . .

Christmas this year comes down to caroling at an old folks' home, Chinese grocery shopping with my dad, and dinner at a restaurant in Irvine with the cousins.  All good times, but I vaguely remember, from some distant past, putting Christmas presents under a tree in a warm living room with a fire burning in a fireplace that had stockings hanging from the mantel as snow fell gently outside the window.  Vaguely.  Perhaps my real childhood memories are blending into those I recall from television shows.

Food coma.  Naptime.



P.S. WHY IS THERE NO WHITE RABBIT CANDY ANYWHERE?!?!?  San Gabriel Superstore, this is the first time you've failed me.

Monday, December 20, 2010


Dear Fat,

In an effort to stay dynamic with the rapidly changing environment in the technology sector, I decided to update the new facebook--before it was a mandated change.  I know.  I'm so hip.

Speaking of my hips.  They don't seem to be shrinking at all.  Maybe it's because I stopped updating mynetdiary (I said effort, nothing of success) or maybe it's because I'm not exercising nearly as much as I had been... but somehow, by this baffling combination, the pounds have not been dropping off.  Sad.

I guess I've been shirking from the responsibility of taking care of my body, thinking that it would just take care of itself.  In the immortal (?) words of Avril Lavigne, "whatever's meant to be will work out perfectly, yeah yeah ye-ah-ah-ah-ah-ah." there may be a superfluous "ah" in that quote.  I can't be bothered to figure it out.

 I figured everything would just work out like it was supposed to, and all I had to was sit around and wait for it to happen. I guess I thought the same thing would happen with my job.  But I realize now that if you want something, you have to work for it.  Chaos is the natural flow of the universe (and my apartment); it takes diligence and determination to create order.

With this renewed spirit, I take on my next challenge: Opening my cupcake business.  You can trust a fattie to make delicious cupcakes.  And do I ever make delicious cupcakes.

Festering in fat,

[Really awesome comic that I can't draw yet because I'm on a mac and they don't have paint.  It's a really awesome comic though.  Just go with it.]

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Things Fall Afat

Dear Fat,

Long time no speak.  Perhaps it is because I am not anywhere near my second weight-loss goal.  After reaching the 10-pound mark, I seemed to have lost that maddening drive that I had back in . . . October, was it?  Hey, at least I haven't gained weight.  But these stitches on my leg will apparently keep me off jogging for the next few weeks, so it'll be an interesting exercise in more stringent portion control.  So far, no good.

I feel like I've reached a weird point in my life (an impasse?  a crossroads?  are those opposites?), brought on by the realization that I have no idea what I can/want to do with the rest of my life.  This weight thing provides a sort of distraction when I actually pay attention to it, but I think I have too much time left to myself everyday to think.  I should go out and do something productive for society.  Or watch more TV.  Right now, my day-to-day life is a lot better than when I started this grad program, but talking to friends I've known for a long time makes me realize that I had grown used to the almost codependent (or some adjective with a less negative connotation) relationships I had with people.  Yes, I get restless after staying in the same place for three years, and the idea of traveling and living in many places sounds awesome, but . . . being uprooted is hard.  Making new friends is hard.

What if we still lived in villages and tribes?  I'd at least always have friends and family around.  But then everyone would always be up in my business . . . I also wouldn't be able to escape from annoying people.  Knowing me, that might be a risk I wouldn't want to take.  Then there are all those rituals and rites of passage and nonsense . . . Yeah, now that I think about it, this is just fine.

Okay, thanks for listening.  We'll just focus on more concrete goals.  Let's limit meat intake to 1-2 oz. a day.

Until next time,