Tuesday, December 14, 2010

Things Fall Afat

Dear Fat,

Long time no speak.  Perhaps it is because I am not anywhere near my second weight-loss goal.  After reaching the 10-pound mark, I seemed to have lost that maddening drive that I had back in . . . October, was it?  Hey, at least I haven't gained weight.  But these stitches on my leg will apparently keep me off jogging for the next few weeks, so it'll be an interesting exercise in more stringent portion control.  So far, no good.

I feel like I've reached a weird point in my life (an impasse?  a crossroads?  are those opposites?), brought on by the realization that I have no idea what I can/want to do with the rest of my life.  This weight thing provides a sort of distraction when I actually pay attention to it, but I think I have too much time left to myself everyday to think.  I should go out and do something productive for society.  Or watch more TV.  Right now, my day-to-day life is a lot better than when I started this grad program, but talking to friends I've known for a long time makes me realize that I had grown used to the almost codependent (or some adjective with a less negative connotation) relationships I had with people.  Yes, I get restless after staying in the same place for three years, and the idea of traveling and living in many places sounds awesome, but . . . being uprooted is hard.  Making new friends is hard.

What if we still lived in villages and tribes?  I'd at least always have friends and family around.  But then everyone would always be up in my business . . . I also wouldn't be able to escape from annoying people.  Knowing me, that might be a risk I wouldn't want to take.  Then there are all those rituals and rites of passage and nonsense . . . Yeah, now that I think about it, this is just fine.

Okay, thanks for listening.  We'll just focus on more concrete goals.  Let's limit meat intake to 1-2 oz. a day.

Until next time,

I.M.

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