Monday, January 31, 2011

Fatus Andronicus

Dear Fat,

Hello!  Maybe you've been confused by my behavior lately.  I mean, I'm sure you love it, what with the egregious amounts of over eating that I've been doing of late.  But still, I say I hate you, and in the past few days I have not stopped eating.

Seriously, I've gained like 3 pounds in the past week.  What the eff?  That's insane!!  You probably want to know why I've been packing on the pounds like I was getting ready to hibernate (oh, wouldn't that be awesome) while still saying, "Skinny is gonna feel so good!"  And it is.

Tomorrow is February 1st.  The first day of the rest of my life.  My life free from you.  And food that I find delicious and love eating.  I'm starting Medifast tomorrow and that means I will soon be skinny!

And CRAZY!

They say that it's healthy and that it's the fastest weightloss solution around.  My intelligence is a little more than insulted by the introductory video whose vague references to "leading university doctors" are supposed to assure me that this is the beginning of a new me.  "It's goof proof," Legitimacy-lending-doctor.

Awesome.

I'm gonna be so skinny!!

~Fatticus

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