Sunday, August 21, 2011

The Fat Weekend

Dear Fat,

I . . . drank too much.

For me, at least.  I think I had 8-ish vodka or tequila drinks, but I don't quite remember.  And although I woke up at 8 this morning, I still haven't eaten anything.  It is now 2 PM.  I'm not nauseous or anything, but I'm not hungry either.  I think my digestive tract is numb from drinking two nights in a row.

My last few credit card bills have dipped into my savings, so I am now on a budget of $7 a day, starting today, for the next month.  Unfortunately, I think I'm also going to have to take my car in because the power steering fluid keeps leaking out.  Boo.

I meant to go jogging today, but I'm so tired.

Oh, and regarding my last post, it turns out that I did get assigned to a jury. I was called in the first panel and randomly assigned as juror 10 in the box, and then I never got dismissed, so . . . ta da.  It wasn't too bad, though, and the whole thing lasted less than 2 1/2 days.  Not bad considering now I don't have to go back for at least 3 years.

Anyway, detoxing,


Sunday, August 07, 2011

12 Angry Fats

Dear Fat,

It happened again.  I stopped jogging for . . . 2 weeks?  3 weeks?  It was so long that I lost track.  Anyway, I'm starting to compensate this weekend: I ran both yesterday and today.  I can feel my leg muscles again.  I also took off my shirt at one point to try and get some color on my jiggly white belly.  I was on the beach, so that makes it alright.  And now that I'm older, I just don't care about discretion anymore.

Okay, that's a lie.

Anyway, I am more or less moved into my new apartment.  It's nice to have street noise again (although I'm not sure that my roommate would agree).  We still need things like a dining table, and I still need some more efficient way of lighting my room, but overall, I'd say that things are fine.  I like having big windows .  And I like not having the threat of frog invasions.  Hopefully, there is also a lesser threat of psychotic pigeons.

Jury duty on Wednesday.  Part of me wants to get placed onto a jury just so I don't have to go to lab, but the more rational part of me realizes that there are probably better ways of taking time off from lab.  This is also the first time that I'm not "moving" to an out-of-county address to avoid jury duty.  I . . . hrmm . . . mixed feelings.

I really do need something to do outside of lab that isn't lab-related.  I think I stay saner when I have more things to distract me.  I'll try to figure it out this week.

Not diverted enough,


Tuesday, August 02, 2011

If I Were a Fat

Dear Fat,

I'm trying to take this whole unemployment thing with a brave face.

On the plus side:
-I have more time to work on my cupcake/apron empire
-I have more time to work out
-I don't have to sit at a cubicle hating life
-I was able to teach at VBS and my kids were freaking adorable

Yay!  So much exercising! All. The. Time.

On the not so plus side:
-I'm at home and there's food around and I'm bored and therefore want to stuff my face
-I forgot the sound of my voice from not talking throughout the day

Really, it's the eating thing that's the worst.  My doctor pointed out that even without Medifast, I can eat multiple low calorie, low carb, high protein, high fiber meals that are under 200 calories and continue to lose weight.  Huh?  Really?  All I have to do is eat less calories?  IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.

I don't mean to be sarcastic.  It's just difficult sometimes not to eat.  Take this very moment for example.  I've eaten like 5 or 6 <200 calorie "meals" today, I've worked out a bunch, I'm not even hungry but for some reason I just want to stuff my face with food.  It defies all reason!!

I wish I could be fat and happy.  Then things would be fine.  Unfortunately, being fat not only makes me unhappy, it makes me unhealthy.  I don't want my heart to explode.  That just seems incredibly unpleasant.  I guess I'll just have to keep exercising and eating less until I'm skinny.

For now, I'll just concentrate on being skinny until it happens.