Monday, December 05, 2011

Feast of Eden

Dear Fat,

I started jogging again.  It was... uncomfortable.  Fortunately my playlist had several Pokemon songs on it, so I was super pumped to keep going.  I want to be the very best--like no one ever was.  You know the deal.

Uggggggggggh.... I ate too much today. I was cold after running and found a tube of biscuits in the fridge.  After braving the terror of popping it open, I immediately ate 3.  HOW?!  Daaaaaaaaaaaaah... food... stop jumping into my body.... Body... stop stuffing food into me.

Is it cheating to link to a Cracked article that sums up my running issues?  Really?  Too bad.

Jogging makes me so tired.  Like so tired.  SO tired.  So. Tired.

So tired.

I think I'm turning into a fob.  I'm not sure how; it might have something to do with the fact that I don't really talk during the day so the language center in my brain is shutting down.  Or who knows, maybe my dream of being a fob is finally coming true.  (I hope it's the second one!)  Here are a few sample conversations tracking my metamorphosis:

-On jogging-
"I like jogging in the morning because it's cold and I overheat really easily.  If I jog when the sun isn't out, I don't have to wear sunglasses and I also don't turn into a fiery inferno of death."
"You like jogging in the dark?"
"No, not the dark.  But just when the sun isn't all the way out.  You know, like... in the twilight of morning..."
"Dawn?"
"Yes.  That's the word for it.  There's a word."

-On becoming a fob-
"I think I'm turning into a fob.  I can't talk anymore and my word choices are weird.  Sometimes it's hard... to like form sentences... completely."
"It's hard to form complete sentences?"
"Shut up."

That's all for now. I have to go add sequins, lace, and shoulder pads to everything I own now.  I totes need a complete denim outfit.

Fobulously,

Fatticus

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